UFO Cowboys

Roku has harassed me with ads for UFO Cowboys for quite some time and I had no interest in watching something so obviously silly, but I figured sooner or later someone would suggest that I have no business being critical of it if I've never actually seen it, so I suffered through the first two episodes to have that covered.  It's exactly what I expected, and exactly as corny.  Unfortunately, I doubt I will remember most of the points I wanted to make while watching this travesty, but I will at least attempt to touch on it.

The premise is that an area of the southwest US allegedly has a lot more extraterrestrial activity than anywhere else in the world, and for some reason a group of cowboys are the best people to send in there.  What that reminds me of is the movie Armageddon, wherein Earth is threatened by a massive asteroid and the plan is to land on it, drill into it, plant nuclear warheads inside of it, and then blow it up, but somehow it was better to train drillers to be astronauts than to train astronauts to drill.  Evidently during production of Armageddon this exact issue was questioned and the answer was to shut up about it.

I can imagine someone defending the principle with the notion that both being a professional driller and astronaut equally rely on training and experience, but this is sort of like figuring expertise in brain surgery is equivalent to Burger King experience.  Sure, someone with no restaurant experience isn't going to be as good as it as someone that's worked there for a few years, but that still doesn't make it at all equivalent to being a brain surgeon.  It should be easier giving a brain surgeon a crash course on working at Burger King than training up the person that makes my Whopper to perform brain surgery.

There's no logical reason to figure cowboys are the best people to investigate alleged extraterrestrial activity any more than a guitarist would be the best choice for assembling a Formula One engine.  They describe themselves as "roughnecks" and are supposed to be macho outdoorsmen but when they have opportunity to investigate alleged mysterious stuff they spot they chicken out.  I'm no "roughneck" but if I had seen some of the stuff they saw I'd absolutely want to check it out immediately and go for it.  So, they failed at the one thing that's supposed to be the reason they're right for the task.

UFO bull crap never made much sense, but on this show it makes even less.  I could go on for quite a while about how UFO stuff doesn't hold up to logic, but here they just toss a bunch of creepy unrelated stuff into a blender and pretend it all fits together somehow.  There's individual pieces that, if seen by itself, one would assume was from a show about hauntings or demons but somehow they're tied to aliens.  There's alleged footprints like from a dinosaur and it's set up like a creature is running around carrying off and devouring animals, but this fits more with Jurassic Park than aliens.  There's a barn that is supposedly popular with aliens, for God only knows what reason, and when they finally pretend to man up enough to go into a barn they open a door to a room they describe as looking like a medieval torture chamber, which sounds more like it would be tied to a paranormal activity show than extraterrestrials.  They make the barn sound more haunted than tied to extraterrestrial activity.

I know I had a lot of things I wanted to comment on but they escape me now.  I feel like this should capture the gist of the show, though.